I love Christmas (yes, I am aware we haven’t had Thanksgiving). I love the music, the traditions, and the unreasonable number of decorations I’ve accumulated over the years. I am usually more than happy to start celebrating well before Thanksgiving. There is a reason for that.
For those of you who that have followed me for a while, you may remember some of my older posts about my dad. Many of those are archived now, but he died just after Thanksgiving in 2022. That holiday has been complicated ever since. I still love this time of year, but there are parts of it I tend to want to skip over and move straight into the “holiday magic” of Christmas. I started decorating the past week, expecting to feel the excitement I usually do. I hung a few things, stood back to admire my work, and realized I wasn’t particularly excited about any of it. Which was disappointing, considering the number of decorations I own.
I’ve been thinking about that feeling, and about how differently we all experience the same season.
For some of us, this will be the first holiday without a spouse, a parent, a grandparent, or someone who made the holidays feel like home. For others, it’s the first holiday in a different house, with children splitting their time between two families, or traditions that no longer look quite the same. Some are trying to keep the peace around a crowded dinner table while others are wishing their dinner table were a little more crowded. Many of us are planning elaborate celebrations, trying to create the kind of memories our children will carry into adulthood. Others are just hoping to make it through December with a reasonable amount of patience and their credit cards intact.
And for some of you, this holiday will be wonderful. Maybe last year was difficult and this one feels lighter. Perhaps there’s a new baby, a new relationship, a new job, a long-awaited homecoming, or simply a season of life that feels good. There is room for all of it but is there room for all the expectations we have placed on ourselves?
Even creativity comes with expectations this time of year! The holidays can become the busiest season. There’s pressure to create, sell, fulfill orders, or it’s the expectation to keep producing simply because of the identity created around being creative. I just wrapped up a collection release and despite having a wonderful show, I’ve have very little desire to pick up a paintbrush until the new year. I also spent months (many months) training for a marathon, only to end up with a stress injury in my foot a few weeks before the race. Apparently both my creative and athletic ambition decided to take the holidays off. News to me.
But I wonder how often we carry expectations into the holidays without stopping to consider whether they still make sense for the season of life we’re in. The expectation to host, decorate, buy, create, keep traditions alive and to keep everyone happy. We want to somehow make the holidays look and feel the way we remember them. And sometimes they do. Sometimes they’re even better. Other times, they’re different.
I don’t think there’s a right way to approach the next several weeks. I don’t think we have to lower our expectations or insist that everything be magical. Maybe we just allow the season to be what it is, without comparing it to what it used to be or what we imagined it would look like. Maybe we make more room for the family members who drive us a little crazy, the friends who feel like family, the traditions we love, and the ones we’re ready to let go of. Maybe we invite people into our homes without worrying quite so much about whether everything is finished, decorated, or perfect.
And maybe we remember that the people sitting around our tables are arriving with their own stories. Some we’re familiar with and some we may know very little about.
As Thanksgiving and Christmas approach, I hope there’s room for the joy, the complicated family dynamics, the laughter, and whatever else comes along. I hope we make time for the people we love. And maybe we remember that not everyone has a table to gather around. Sometimes a simple invitation (to a not so perfectly decorated home) means more than we realize.
As for me, I have a few Christmas traditions I’m looking forward to, new ones to create, and absolutely no plans to start another art collection before January. Although I did briefly consider making ornaments. Some habits are harder to break than others.
Love,
Shannon
